about packing up my most important shit and leaving this place for somewhere brand new. New jobs, new college, new people. No expectations or attachments.  I feel like I’m always busting my ass and getting nowhere. After a while that takes a toll.

I didn’t get into nursing school. I wish there was some way to tell everyone this without having to talk about it. No, I’m not excited for school to start and no, I don’t know how much longer it’s going to be until I’m done. Not getting into nursing school at UofL has been the biggest disappointment of my life and I’m still not sure how to deal with it. I know that I won’t give up on becoming a nurse, I just REALLY wanted this. This semester I am retaking a class and reapplying and hopefully I will make it in next semester. All the ladies at work have been really nice about it though. So many “Nursing school’s loss is our gain!” At least they mean well.

On a brighter note, I actually have had the best day I’ve had in a long time. Kat, Fontenot, Donnie and I went to Hardy Lake in IN. We played in the lake, we buried Kat and Donnie in the sand, Donnie and I went shell hunting, and we played two games of Clue in the sun. At the very end of the day, we got so rained out that literally everything we brought was soaking wet and yet it was still so much fun. The only downer was when we tried to stop at  a stop sign and hydroplaned through the intersection hitting a truck. There was no damage to the truck but the bumper was knocked off of Kat’s car. This brings my total up to six car wrecks.

Clayton & Cari Wooten, Kevin & Christena Jones, Alex and Brittany Bell, Kyle & Kayla Conder, Andy & Rebecca Sawyer, Craig & Stephanie Probus, Matt & Amanda Dirkes, Lee & Holly Sanders. I’m 22 and I feel like the only person in Louisville who doesn’t want to get married this year. I’m not exactly sure why I’m hating it all, but I think it’s because of the bandwagon feeling. Or maybe it’s because I’m not ready to commit my entire future to Donnie. Still, maybe it’s because I want something different than married at 22 and kids by 25.

Baby Proof is the name of the book I’m currently reading. I find it very interesting as it is about a couple who are completely in love, but one of them decides they want a baby after all. I’m half way through the book and the couple has gotten divorced and the woman is exploring all the reasons why she doesn’t want a child. I have completely agreed with the main character’s entire journey up until this point. I’m starting to think that she is going to make a break through to some deep-seeded issue as to why she really doesn’t want children and decide that she would actually like to have a baby with the love of her life. This really disappoints me as in the last chapter the character expressed an internal monologue as to how when a woman chooses to have babies no one grills them on why they want one, but when a woman chooses not to have children people automatically assume something is wrong with her. Who knows though, like I said I’m only half way through. Honestly, I hope she finds a new love and it’s just the two of them forever having great adventures without kids. We shall see.

Now I plan to sit here and watch How I Met Your Mother until Kat comes by with Donnie’s wallet that he left in her car. I often wonder why I don’t get tired of this show and I think it’s because I want my life to be like this whenever I finally get out of college. Five best friends that are always available for one another, hanging out at their favorite bar, living in New York, and only two of the five are married. [And they didn’t get married at 22…just saying.]

Aug 14, 2011